Monday, May 25, 2009

Tattoo Bummer

Is , Timothy Myeni the bible waving gospel singer come politician taking his cue from Hitler?

His suggestion that HIV positive persons should have a tattoo on their bum cheek as an indication to warn a potential sexual partner that they are entering perilous zone and should proceed with caution has attracted a emotionally charged outcry from a host of human rights and aids watchdog organisations.

Somehow these selfsame human rights advocators support large scale free inoculations on the African continent against TB , Hep A, tetanus-diptheria and polio to name but a few. So what is the dilemma here? Is it a case of one prick (of the inoculation needle) is better than many pricks (of a tattoo needle)?

I beg to differ, I think, and let me stress that these are not necessarily the views of my fellow bloggers, that the HIV status tattoo thing is a good idea. Unfortunately it is a hard sell and in a modern society, such as in Swaziland. If not carefully planned and presented correctly, the mere suggestion of such a barbaric practice could backfire (as it did) and very well be seen as a violation of human rights. I, personally, am not into body piercing and tattoo culture, but I am not against it. In the same breath, I am not a hunter, but I enjoy the occasional game steak.

I strongly believe that all people should be treated equal, erring on the side of humanity, so in this case, to appease the HRC, et al, everybody should demand a tattoo, not to be confused with a violation of human rights, but it should be your right as a human to have a tattoo on you buttock showing your HIV status. We should start a campaign to demand a HIV STATUS, butt tattoo. It is after all your right as a human to know and share your status with your current, past and future sexual partners. It should become a fashion statement.

The HIV status tattoo in its purest form could consist of “minus” sign for those not yet infected, and a “positive” sign for the previously HIV infected. Of course for the more stylish, the “positive” or “plus” sign tattoo could entail a refined skull and cross bones or a gracious death “ Grim reaper springs to mind” depicting impression to ward off the run-of-the-mill sexual risk taker.

The “minus” or negative sign (which should be chosen as the official sign depicting the negative status) could always be updated with a stroke of the pen as and when required to indicate a shift in the bearers HIV status.

The negative sign tattooed on ones bum, can depict your positive status as an unprotected-sex partner. A positive sign or picture can illustrate your negative status as a unprotected-sex partner.

The enterprising participants could rent advertising space to condom manufacturers or their favorite antiretroviral drug company on the opposite cheek as an additional form of income.
Timothy’s suggestion requires educating the public.

Your bum becomes your power. You could walk into a medical dispensary and show your (the tattoo) ass as a prescription. This will eliminate the bureaucratic paper work involved with issuing antiretroviral medication. This will also eliminate honouring false medical scripts and therefore curb the misuse of antiretrovirals.

If however you are a follower of the teachings of the enlightened Dr Beetroot, you could qualify for a special discount at your local branch of Fruit and Veg city.

Remember, it does not have to stop with a HIV status symbol on your ass. You could have our bank account tattooed on our fore arm and who knows, maybe a drivers license on you belly. Imagine the traffic officer “ Madam, could you please lift your dress?, I need to verify your license ”

When seeking employment, you could show your prospective employer your HIV ass tattoo without fear of being accused of sexual harassment. The merits of a butt and body official government sanctioned tattoos are too many to mention.

In fact, why do we not cut to the chase and get on with the task of planting a chip under every persons skin. It is after all according to the good book “Revelations,” that Timothy brandishes, only a matter of time before it becomes a stark reality.

On a serious note:

With all due respect Timothy, If one is going to quote the bible and come across as a true believer with unfaltering faith in the spirit of such great spiritual leader as the blessed pastor Ray McCauley, one has to practice what one preaches.

“Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:28

So at the expense of sounding you like a hypocrite, I suggest you remove that statement from your bible. A few strokes of the pen should do the job. Yet another African solution to an African problem. Or were you speaking as a politician, from a political point of view and not as a gospel singer?

The Story As Reported:

This week Swaziland MP and leader of the gospel group Ncandweni Christ Ambassadors, Timothy Myeni, told a leadership workshop for fellow MPs that Swaziland needed a mandatory law for testing people for HIV.

A proposal to brand the buttocks of people suffering from HIV has caused outrage in a country ravaged by the disease.

Swaziland MP Timothy Myeni suggested making HIV tests compulsory for every person in the southern African state and then forcing those who were infected to be permanently marked with a warning logo.

Mr Myeni claimed the scheme would help stop the spread of the killer disease by reducing sexual activity between HIV positive people and uninfected partners.

Speaking at a workshop for MPs on how to tackle the AIDS epidemic, he added: 'Before having sex with anyone, people will have to check their partners' buttocks before proceeding,'
Campaigners furiously criticised the idea.

Swazi AIDS campaigner Siphiwe Hlophe said the system would contravene human rights laws.
She said: 'How can a legislator lobby for the branding of HIV positive people?

'We do not need legislators who think like him because some of the people who voted for him could be positive, why is he then discriminating them?

'He must stop lobbying his colleagues for such but instead call for them to stop discriminating positive people.'

Swaziland Aids Support Organisation spokesman Vusi Matsebula added: 'His utterances represent the views of someone who is still sleeping around.

'Maybe the branding will help him know what kind of a person he is about to sleep with.'

Swaziland has the highest HIV infection rate in the world, with around 43 percent of the population believed to be living with the disease.

The tiny landlocked southern African kingdom has previously been criticised for its failure to tackle the condition.

In 2001 Swaziland's king Maswati III was accused of dangerous double standards over HIV.
The monarch, who has at least 17 wives, urged Swazi teens to wait until their twenties before having sex and then publicly selected a 17 year old as his latetest wife.

On family values Tim has this to say:

“We are such a strong (Gospel) group because we consist of four married couples, resulting in strong family values,” Myeni said.

On family his mother had this to say in at a concert in front of a 5000 strong audience in Durbs :

TIMOTHY Myeni’s mother Solomiya (O’ lonesome me) left the strong crowd shocked when she related how she ended up having eleven children. WHAT?

She said initially she wanted only five children “but because God wanted more from me, I eventually had eleven children. When I look back now, I understand why. If I had the five children as per my will, you would not be here today. Timothy is the ninth child followed by Thabile and then Mzwakhe. "

"When you look at the set up, you understand that God wanted to use me in a special way. Even the order of the children as you see shows that they needed one another to put together what you are witnessing tonight,” she said.

She advised women to birth to as many children as they can, because children were a blessing from God. All seven (?) children are still alive. The group’s fans also had a chance to hear a song from Myeni’s mother rendered a song ‘Ngijulise Nkosi Othandweni Lwakho’.

She was assisted by Timothy Mzwakhe, his wife Sbhekile, Thabile and Mzwakhe’s wife Khanyisile.
In short she says, go fourth and multiply, as if the world does not have enough people already. Not very responsible Solomiya.

1 Opinion(s):

Katzenjammer said...

Yes yes it's going to happen! It's in Revelations:

"Rev 13:16 And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads."

For those with their head up their arsehole or their hands where they shouldn't be, the mark on the bum is a special dispensation.