Thursday, April 15, 2010

Please Don't Kill Me: I Am Not A Boer, But A Tourist

12 Opinion(s):

VI said...

Maybe us South Africans should buy some of these too.

Born to be wild said...

"Maybe us South Africans should buy some of these too."

Oh sure, this will give a whole new meaning to the term, "accidental tourist".

Exzanian said...

That sign may read something else in English, but to the locals in ZA it looks like a bull's eye target with the words "Mug me, I have foreign currency"

Viking said...

black shoe polish may provide a better disguise.

Birdman said...

A great idea, but we all know that the majority of kaffirs cannot read anyway...@exzanian - valid point mate.

eduard said...

They are probably Brits, typical scum that they are, nothing but a bunch of cowards. Maybe it will be a good thing if these uncrowned beasts of the field rape and murder these white tourists - foreign dicks and balls and whatever make good muti.

Disgusted said...

Eduard

The way you talk and judge people shows youre a hypocrite. How is anyone being raped a good thing?
You have no right to call anyone scum with such things coming out of your mouth. If you are South African Im ashamed to be associated with you!

Anonymous said...

Spot on Exzanian! That's exactly what it will mean.

Born to be wild said...

Since we are nearing the world cup... we should give tourists tips about travelling on our roads....

RULES FOR DRIVING IN SOUTH AFRICA

1. Never indicate - this will give away your next move. A real south African driver never uses them.

2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, this space will be filled by at least 2 taxis and a BMW, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will only result in you being rear-ended.

5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving you a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.

6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's a good way to check if the people entering the highway are awake.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a guideline. They are especially not applicable in South Africa during rush hour. That's why it's called 'rush hour....'

8. Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a South African driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

9. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tyre. Never stop to help - you will be mugged.

10. Learn to swerve abruptly. South Africa is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the government, which puts pot holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keeps them on their toes.

11. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light turns green. This prevents storks from building nests on top of the traffic light and birds from making deposits on your car.

12. Remember that the goal of every South African driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

13. On average, at least three cars can still go through an intersection after the light has turned red. It's people not adhering to this basic principle that causes the big traffic jams during rush hour.

Now guys go out there today and make South Africa proud!!!

Ron. said...

The size of the lettering does not help them as the relevant part is too small for most to notice & the message will only be understood as a plea against killing Boers. Furthermore on an ironic note: the folks who kill Boers define Boers as anyone who is White which even often applies to foreign White folks too. So while these tourists might not think of themselves as Boers: the killers of White people often DO think of them as such. While the actual Boer people are only a small segment of the total local White population: the term Boer is often used in a derogatory sense by non-White folks & applied to anyone who has White skin.

Anonymous said...

@ Born To Be Wild

LOL!!Thanks for the Laugh buddy!

Anonymous said...

Why not just paste a target on your back that says: "Please fuck me up, rape me, rob me, and then burn and pillage me because I am a dumb fuck tourist and not a street wise local so I am easy pickings".

The white race has surely LOST ALL ITS MARBLES!!!