Friday, January 08, 2010

You Can't Make This Sh*t Up

PC silliness from Hotair.com


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Is truth stranger than fiction? Well if it ain’t, I’m a monkey’s uncle. Whoops! That sounds kinda racist.

And so, evidently, did the title of a novel by Joseph Conrad, the author of Heart of Darkness and Lord Jim, which prompted WordBridge, a Netherlands-based publisher, to bowdlerize not just the text itself but the title.

The work in question, The Nigger of Narcissus, has been cleansed for what FOX News calls “a new generation of readers.”

It just doesn’t get any better than this. I thought the silliness couldn’t get any more intense than when a black county commissioner in Dallas County, Texas got all wee-weed up over the use of the term black hole, used to describe paperwork that had vanished down the office rabbit hole.

Now I know that was just the tip of the racial over-sensitivity iceberg. No more Black Death, y’all. From now on the outbreak of bubonic plague that killed between 30% and 60% of Europe’s population in the fourteenth century will henceforth be known as the White Death. Or better still Whitey Death. Or best of all Honky Death.

There is much, MUCH more scrubbing to be done, but before we get to it, I have a few demands of my own. Let the disgusting term Jew’s Harp be relegated to the same scrap pile of history as Conrad’s book title. Oh, and that Shylock character Shakespeare created—you know the thieving bastard who exacted a pound of flesh? From now, he’s no longer Jewish. He’s ah . . . um—well, I don’t know. I guess once everybody gets in on this racial hypersensitivity jag, there won’t be any ethnicity about which anything negative can ever again be said or written.

7 Opinion(s):

Anonymous said...

Well if you visit the Jewish museum in Berlin you will see that they are quite proud of Shylock the cunning jew. They also have a special shrine for Karl Marx and hold him in high regard, right next the the shrine of the philosopher Moses Mendlessohn.

Not sure if these questions by Shylock were retorical or wether he actually wanted an answer...

Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.

—Act III, scene I

Anonymous said...

Shylock did forget to mention that the Jew hath the Talmud, the filthy disgusting blasphemous talmud. This is their rule by which they live and survive.

Exzanian said...

Nigger in the woodpile/ Golliwog/ Nigger ball/ Niggardly bastards/ Nigger fail/ Nig that Nog/ Niggins / Nigged out/ Nigger a-go-go
and lots, lots more on the Urban Dictionary:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nigger

Vanilla Ice said...

Yes, but on reflection, I am not so comfortable sucking nigger balls anymore.

Exzanian said...

VI, only because you are an adult, when you were a kid you sucked 'em hard, din ya? Hell, I used to take two at once, one in each cheek, and it never occured to me what I was actually doing; sucking black man's farking gonads! YECH!

FishEagle said...

Exzanian, you always manage to get a loud chuckle out of me! :)

Exzanian said...

Fish Eagle...I do try...