Friday, January 29, 2010

De Kock-Up, Woodworking, top list of 2010 buzzwords


Hayibo.com - South Africa's top catchphrases for 2010 - or "Kickball Year" as it is currently known to avoid infringing FIFA copyright - have been announced. The list includes such favourites as "SARS-chasm" and "nontroversy" (also known as "joosterday's news"), however Eugene de Kock and Julius 'The Carpenter' Malema came in top.

According to Professor Verbiage Mahlangu of the Department of Words at the Thabo Mbeki Memorial Techno-University in Polokwane, the list was a key indicator of what was on the minds of South Africans in 2010.

"These are words we think are going to define the year ahead," she said. "I would tell you the name of the year, but I'd get sued by Sepp Blatter."

She said favourite words included "SARS-chasm" - the gap between where tax revenue should be going and where it actually is going - and "outcomes-based retardation", also known as the South African schooling system.

The Top Five Buzzwords for Kickball Year are as follows:

DeKock up - To convince someone to choose a terrible option they would never take under normal circumstances by presenting an even worse one. E.g.: "In a dramatic DeKock up, Salty Dog opted to walk the plank after Captain Fang insisted that he spend a night of passion with Horrible Hetty the Pirate Slag."

Woodworking - To create a media frenzy and a storm of publicity by making wild accusations, violent threats or self-aggrandising band-standing on a key issue. (See also: "To Winnie").

Appled - Originating in Apple CEO Steve Jobs' ability to steal the thunder of any innovation by upping the ante, appled can be applied to any public undermining, technology-based or not. E.g: "Despite its total lack of plot, substance or character, Avatar appled District 9 at the box office and in the awards."

Card-guard - Defending half-baked accusations or arguments by pulling the race card. E.g. "Damn!" cried Helen Zille as she watched Julius Malema giggle. "Card-guarded again!"

Haiti Effect - The effect of a tragedy to transform apathy, contempt or even hatred into an outpouring of compassion and love. E.g.: "In a strong display of the Haiti Effect today, millions of South Africans described the late Manto Tshabalala-Msimang as 'not all bad', and swore that they had always loved Michael Jackson despite not having listened to any of his music since Thriller."

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1 Opinion(s):

Dachshund said...

Talking about de Kock, did you know he spends most of his days doing woodwork at C-Max? He's quite nifty at the stuff. Let him try to teach Julius woodwork every day for the next 3 months. That will be punishment enough to qualify him for an immediate and unconditional pardon.