Thursday, December 10, 2009

SA Airlink trying to have major disaster before World Cup

JOHANNESBURG. Management at SA Airlink says that the recent spate of near-crashes is an attempt to get "the big one" out of the way before the 2010 World Cup.

"At some point we're going to lose a plane and kill 50 passengers," said a spokesperson.

"We just don't want Sepp Blatter to be one of those 50."

SA Airlink, also known as SA Airsink and Seconds From Disaster, has dominated aviation headlines for months as flight after flight has been diverted for no apparent reason, talked down for emergency landings or towed out of shrubbery at the end of the runway.

The airline has not yet lost an aircraft or killed any passengers despite trying on more than one occasion.

However this morning a spokesman for SA Airlink confirmed that the spate of incidents were an effort to notch up at least one major crash before the World Cup so that the odds of it happening again were reduced.

"Ultimately it's for the protection of passengers," explained spokeswoman Gladys Plunging-Fireball. "Or at least the protection of FIFA-accredited passengers.

"If we lose a plane tomorrow or next week the odds are radically lowered that we'll do the same thing with Sepp Blatter and the FIFA executive on board."

Asked why Sepp Blatter and FIFA would fly on SA Airlink when they could risk their lives in far more interesting ways, such as smearing themselves in whale fat and diving into a shark-tank, Plunging-Fireball said that Blatter might be forced to fly SA Airlink, "possibly by losing a bet".

"You never know," she said. "Maybe his personal jet will taxi into a copse of trees. Ask any of our pilots: it can happen to anyone, any time."

Plunging-Fireball confirmed that no-one had been injured in Monday's incident in which an SA Airlink flight trundled off the end of the runway and into a road near the N2 highway at George.

"Yes, 33 people were on board and 33 people walked away," she said. "Which is lovely for them and their families. Not such good news for our actuaries and Mr Blatter."

3 Opinion(s):

Pensioner said...

I this Gladys Plunging-Fireball related to Fanny De Frost? ;0)


How many planes has SA Airlink left ?

neil said...

We need anpther name change -- SA Scarelink