Friday, December 18, 2009

Pissing in the wind

Oliver Roberts longs for a time when strange weather was celebrated and wonders if it would really be so bad if the Maldives sank.

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Is it just me, or are the rest of you also bored with global warming?

Really, I'm tired of being blamed, almost daily and by way of an unconfirmed theory, for the changing condition of the earth.


I long for the days when weather was called weather, not "climate". I long for the days when, if it was unseasonably cold or hot, we dressed accordingly and just enjoyed the change.

Now, if you simply want to stand at a window and marvel at a violent thunderstorm in July there's always some berk next to you who bleats: "Wow, I guess global warming is really happening."


We can't even have a normal heat wave without it being associated with some pending doom in which all the world's polar bears burst, countries disappear and our faces melt off.

Weather change is another example of how a bored, pedantic bunch of scientists in brown cardigans have managed, in collusion with governments, to create panic and paranoia in order to introduce new taxes and further exploit Third World countries.

And before you group me together with the type of silly conspiracist who still lives with his mom and thinks the US was responsible for 9/11, consider this: under the 1990 Kyoto treaty, developed nations (excluding the US) agreed to cut their carbon emissions to five percent below 1990 levels by 2012.

However, if that five percent is achieved, it will mainly be because a large section of the developed world has fobbed a portion of its emissions off onto countries like India and China, who don't have Kyoto constraints.


The Kyoto treaty reviewed at the UN climate change conference in Copenhagen has the aim of cutting emissions to 50% below 1990 levels by 2050. What the governments of developed countries fail to recognise is that because alternative energy forms are far more expensive than carbon energy, the developing world simply won't be able to make the switch.

So, continents like Africa will not only face the possibility of enforced carbon taxes, developed countries will continue to use them to do their dirty work.

It has been proven in data collected by NASA that the carbon dioxide "ice caps" on Mars's south pole have been diminishing since the beginning of the millennium.

So that planet, like earth, is getting warmer. And, as far as I'm aware, the beings living up there don't drive around in SUVs - and if they encountered a vegan in stripey drawstring pants they would probably (and rightly) eat him/her/it.


One Russian scientist, Habibullo Abdussamatov, says Mars's warming is evidence that the warming of our planet can be attributed to changes in the sun.

He calls it "solar irradiance" and says it would be impossible for man-made greenhouse warming to compete with its effects.


Another hypothesis is that the earth's orbit has shifted slightly. "Milankovitch cycles", as they are known, affect all planets and occur on time scales of between 20000 and 100000 years. These cycles alter the distance between the earth and the sun and are thought to be responsible for ice ages.


Of course, both theories have been debunked by the mainstream scientific community. This is perhaps because no amount of taxes and Oscar-winning, scare-mongering documentaries by former vice-presidents can do anything to change the affects of either.

Does anyone really care if the Maldives sink? What effect is that going to have on our lives? The worst that can happen is Sol Kerzner will turn them into an underwater scuba theme park called Atlantis.

And you can be sure that Bono, Oprah and that toothy idiot Chris Martin will turn up for the party commemorating "The moment Malé sinks".


Why are we ignoring the fact that the earth has gone through drastic changes before? Before the human race got too smart for its own good, those changes were called the "earth's cycle".

Can you imagine the blame and self-righteous preaching by smug musicians in cowboy hats if the ice age started now? Picture the nose-bleeding anxiety and the millions spent on futile research if the great continental shift of billions of years ago began next year. Would we hold deforestation responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs?

5 Opinion(s):

Sakkie de Kok said...

It´s the biggest scam since little Red Riding Hood.
When Al Gore got shafted by GeorgeW, and decided to make clean air his life´s work, I knew this was a load of bullshit.
Someone once said to me that the only thing they could never tax is the air we breath. I said, "you wanna bet?"
Looks like I was right.

Exzanian said...

Nice one Dach. My views exactly. In Geological time, the current cycle is an eye blink. So, a few trillion tons of CO2 have gone into the atmosphere since the industrial revolution? So what? What about the quadrillions of tons of CO2 from volcanoes over the last 4 billion years? Nah, it's a storm in a teacup...Don't worry, the planet will survive. It's only humans who may start dying, and maybe that's not such a bad thing.

Viking said...

Well if our "leaders" negotiate us back to the stone age, at least the flood of migrants will stop!

Anonymous said...

Al Gore's mansion used 20 times the power of the average US house last year. He sure is putting his money where his mouth is! If no one thinks he's a con man then they are either blind or IQ 67.

Anonymous said...

Can you believe that the former presidential candidate loser said “the deniers are persisting in an era of unreality. The entire North Polar ice cap is disappearing before our eyes … what do they think is happening?”
He added that the ice cap will melt within 5-7 years.
So this is what it’s come to this: The final test!
I will bet my bottom dollar that the ice cap will increase or remain unchanged when hell freezes over…D’OH… I mean pole freezes over. Call it borrowed time before they should kick his ass into jail for the fraud he is. All liberals lie. It’s how they get their agenda done. Even when they believe they are being truthful, their premise is a lie.