JOHANNESBURG - Stupid people shouldn't breed, especially when they're sanctimoniously obsessed about always being correct, knowledgeable and even erudite.
I can't remember who first remarked, "Stupid people shouldn't breed", or where I first read this. Darting mischievously into the epicentre of political correctness and spiritual dignity, this statement remains a favourite truism. It's one to reflect on today with too many irascible and incorrigible bigots uploading their poorly written and conceived comments and arguments on to news and opinion websites, including Moneyweb.
If these idiotic commentators (replete with their profoundly spurious but paper-thin viewpoints and inarticulate forms of expression) were a reflection of our nation's health, we'd be terminally ill and bound for the mother of all doomsday graveyards. Fortunately for most of us, based on the number of reader impressions generated by Moneyweb and the nobler qualities of those smarter minds who contribute insightful counter arguments or helpful alternative viewpoints, these cyber sickos form a small minority (or so we better hope and pray).
In recent months, a few cyber commentators have made two startlingly original and insightful reflections about white South Africans: (1) white people don't have any culture; and (2) black people don't need white people or anything developed or made by white people, so all whites should return to their places of origin.
Barring some people of Semitic origin (mostly members of the South African Jewish and Lebanese communities), it's probably safe to say most white South Africans originate from Europe. Like it or not, but this fascinating continent has been the modern world's primary fountainhead for spawning many new art and architectural forms, influential philosophical concepts and welcome advances in almost every field of science, engineering and technology.
Even modern-day Asians, including the Japanese, Chinese and Koreans, are deeply indebted to Europe's myriad advances in thought and achievement since the birth of the Renaissance (never mind the earlier achievements of the Greeks and other older European cultures). This assertion, of course, doesn't preclude the many significant contributions by Arabs, Chinese, Japanese and early Egyptians, among other influential cultures.
From Gothenburg to Grahamstown, and from Seattle to Seoul, most of our world's modern-day conveniences and comforts have their origins in Europe or people of European origin. Just pause for a minute or two to reflect on the development and greater significance (in rough chronological order) of universities, cartography, printing presses, steam trains and railways, photography, telephone and radio communication, internal-combustion engines, aircraft, television, jet engines, lasers, personal computers and genetic engineering.
What about material sciences and the development of high-tech alloys, ceramics, plastics and glass? Let's not forget so many humbler inventions we take for granted like toothbrushes, razors, waterborne sewers, ballpoint pens and clothes pegs. In the hallowed halls of invention, how can anyone forget the feats of Alexander Bell, Henry Bessemer, Thomas Edison, Blaise Pascal, Nikola Tesla and the Wright brothers, Wilbur and Orville? One can't neglect John Crapper, either!
Blackout with Boere Basher
One brain-bruising expositor, hiding behind the smug anonymity of the predictably unoriginal "Boere Basher", informed Moneyweb readers a fortnight ago he wanted nothing white in his life. Well, Boere Basher, one can only hope you've found some white-free serenity today beneath the scant shade of a mopani remote from any South African town or road. Hopefully, you've traded in all your fine clothes, shoes, watch, cellphone and laptop for a loincloth and a hunting spear handcrafted by one of your black brothers (a true African).
Should you still be an urban rat, like most of us, one can only assume you must be deeply fooked, if not skimp and clueless. Assuming you have a paying job, you can't hope in hell to receive any financial rewards, never mind hold a bank account and use a debit or credit card. Perhaps you've developed the finer art of bartering. Perhaps you're happy to receive indigenous corn, meat and veggies as your reward, provided a few of your black supremacist brothers raised the herds and cultivated the crops free of any agrochemicals and veterinary services.
In all probability, your white-free job must be prosaic and your job description duller. You can't use pen and paper, a telephone, a computer or any office automation; nor can you use a desk, a workbench or any modern tools and machinery.
No doubt, you're happy to walk barefoot across a few strips of rare virgin veld to get to your job. Because you can't wear shoes and ride a bicycle or motorcycle; nor can you own a car or catch a taxi or train. Chances are there are too many tarred roads and concrete pavements, which you can't use, so perhaps you have evolved your own aboriginal form of self-propelled flight.
You can't play soccer, rugby or golf, and you can't watch tennis, cricket or the Olympics. You're prohibited from buying any product made with glass, steel, aluminium, paper, plastic or foil. Moreover, you can't use any homeopathic or allopathic remedies, or visit any clinic or hospital.
Returning home to your mud ‘n' thatch rondavel or woven beehive hut, which happens to be super eco-cool with the Greens, your blackout fetish gets literal. You can't light a candle or a paraffin lamp; nor can you connect to the Eskom grid. For entertainment, you'll have to ban anything approximating a magazine, newspaper, book, gaming console, television set, radio or compact hi-fi set.
Boere Basher, you can't own or enjoy a vinyl record, CD or DVD, or almost any form of commercial board game or playing cards. In addition, with World Aids Day celebrated earlier this week, you'll have to take a leaf from Jay Zee's Kama Sutra and refuse to condomise when one of your few entertainment options means stoking your manly fire. On taking another leaf or two from your ludicrous paperless world, you'll have to be astute when Mother Nature heralds another unavoidable bodily function.
You'll also have to ban anything to do with languages like English, even in the case of some of their words being corrupted and integrated into your vernacular language (as is the case with the Zulu word for "money"). In fact, BB, you can't write your own language because it's based on a combination of the Latin and French alphabets courtesy of the pioneering linguistic skills of missionaries, educationists and other white settlers.
Enjoy your freedom today
The dreaded cliché, "Ignorance is bliss", is frighteningly true. Some folk love to impersonate an ostrich. They delight in not reading books or following television debates. They derive freedom in having no or too few moral convictions, spiritual precepts or intelligent political ideas. They simply exist, almost sloth-like, in a near-vacuous state of inertia. They hope life will reward them with a modicum of food, drink, sex, sleep and an untaxing hobby like watching a local game of soccer.
The likes of Boere Basher and his contemptuous and ungrateful band of black supremacists, as with the rest of us, were born with free will and today have all the inherent opportunities made possible by a free South Africa. How you direct your life choices and pursue South Africa's innumerable opportunities is up to your free will, judgement, skills and drive.
More important, around the world, many of us have embraced Marshall McLuhan's prophesied Global Village. The Village has many tantalising elements to relish. While we're free to uphold our own languages, interests and cultures, we can embrace elements of many others. We're free to savour Thai, Indian, Mexican and Hungarian culinary delights. We can indulge in American jazz, blues and folk, European symphonies, and a cornucopia of African and Asian musical idioms.
We're free to watch films made in Iran, Spain, Chile and New Zealand. We can read award-winning novels written by writers from Columbia, Sweden, India and Nigeria. We're free to enjoy and admire the best of everything planet Earth has to offer. These countless and ever-increasing gifts are worth more than any nation's treasury, regardless of the original donor's colour or location.
One's free to watch life blur by in tedious black and white, but some of us thrive on the 7bn shades of colour that form the incomparable canvas of our common humanity.
*Michael Waddacor is a writer and music critic.
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