Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Off Topic, this is for all the expats in Oz and NZ





A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Ozzie 'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'


Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.'


Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'


Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.' Ozzie: (look of extreme shock)


Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)


Dog: 'Yep'


Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'


Dog: 'Yeah, real good.. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.' Ozzie: (look of utter disbelief)


Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'


Ozzie: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'


Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'


Horse: 'Cool' Ozzie: (absolutely dumbfounded)


Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)


Horse: 'Yep'


Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?


Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.' Ozzie: (total look of amazement)


Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'


Ozzie: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar……'