Thursday, December 17, 2009

My Humble Apologies

This post is loosely based on The Michael Waddacor article from Moneyweb which I posted on ILSA here:

I have gone for a true feeling here, but I guess there is a bit of sarcasm coming through. I tried to avoid that, but my Eurocentric instincts cannot be ignored. I thought the pic from a United Colours of Benetton Ad would be complimentary.

My Humble Apology to Blacks.

I’m sorry, I was born a whitey, a European. Shit, dumb mistake. Please could you forgive my insensitive heart?

I’m really feeling down about the way we pressed universities, cartography, the printing press, steam trains and railways, photography, telephone and radio communication, internal-combustion engines, aircraft, television, jet engines, lasers, personal computers and genetic engineering onto you. Damn, it’s unforgivable, I know, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

I have disturbed your inner harmony I know, but it was never meant to be that way…I was trying to tell you something, but it came out all wrong.

Sorry, Ag pleeeeeaze! Can’t you see the agony I’m in? Those matters called science and religion, philosophy and politics...History. Damn lies…All of it!

The nature of man is simple, as you so aptly showed us for millennia. Never changing, never questioning; Living in tune with the seasons, the sun and the stars. Mother Earth!

High-tech alloys, ceramics, plastics and glass? EVIL! Oh woe is me!!!!!! What have I done to you?

Let's not forget how I crushed you with even humble inventions like toothbrushes, razors, waterborne sewers, ballpoint pens and clothes pegs. Oh how I regret the names of Alexander Bell, Henry Bessemer, Thomas Edison, Blaise Pascal, Nikola Tesla and the Wright brothers.

Yes, yes, I know I could lay out thousands of excuses, but it would never mend your broken heart. Your Rondavels and your kraals were immaculate and pure. I came along and raped it all. It’s tearing me apart! I, myself, till today, am still confused, heartbroken.

Why do I keep cancelling the text that I typed? Retyping it. Over and over again. Guilt!!! Out damned spot!

Why have I been holding my tongue from spelling out the true situation?

My dears…You are sullied and besmirched. We have peddled our ways onto you. What makes it worse, is that you have changed. You have become like a whore. You have fallen for this tinsel and bling. Money has gone to your head. You no longer rely on the fine art of bartering for indigenous maize, cattle and vegetables.

Those noble traditions of Lobola, Ancestral worship and Muti magic are fading. Instead, your noblest craving now is for Armani suits, Rotaries, and all the other gadgets we have foisted upon you. You gobble them down like a drunkard does a 15 year old whisky, after a long abstinence. You are no longer a virgin.

It’s all my fault I now realise. Perhaps it’s too late, and I know an apology can be uttered easily, but it’s sincerity is not easy to emulate.

Therefore, I won't beg you to accept this humble apology. I have just hope, and faith...Forgive me…

2 Opinion(s):

Viking said...

Nice one :)
my former employees once shouted 'Apartheid' at me - which was nice.

Seeing as I was 16 when it ended.

And living in a different country...

Anonymous said...

Why did you steal text from Michael Waddacor's article from Moneyweb website?