Malema Mathematics 101

This is from one of those circulating emails that one receives that piqued my interest. I enjoy mathematics, am rather ok at it but it is a subject that one would be hard pressed to extract humour from.

It seems some have. More time on their hands that is.

Here then, I present to you Malema Mathematics 101: How to get to the top with an 'H' mark in lower grade for maths in your final school year.

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What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100 %? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If the alphabet:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as numerals, A = 1, B =2, and so forth:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


And


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

However,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%


So one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, its the bullshit and ass kissing that will put you over the top.