Friday, August 28, 2009

The End of White Guilt

(Author unknown)

This seemingly impossible event occurred because the vast majority of white Americans didn't give a fluff about skin color, and enthusiastically pulled the voting lever for a black man. Not just any black man. A very liberal black man who spent his early career race-hustling banks, praying in a racist church for 20 years, and actively worked with America-hating domestic terrorists. Wow! Some resume! Yet they made Barack Obama their leader. Therefore, as of January 20th, 2009, white guilt is dead.

For over a century, the millstone of white guilt hung around our necks, retribution for slave-owning predecessors. In the 60s, American liberals began yanking that millstone while sticking a fork in the eye of black Americans, exacerbating the racial divide to extort a socialist solution. But if a black man can become President, exactly what significant barrier is left? The election of Barack Obama absolutely destroys the entire validation of liberal white guilt. The dragon is hereby slain.

So today, I'm feeling a little "uppity," if you will. From this day forward, my tolerance level for having my skin color hustled is now exactly ZERO. And it's time to clean house. No more Reverend Wright's "God Damn America," Al Sharpton's Church of Perpetual Victimization, or Jesse Jackson's rainbow racism. Cornell West? You're a fraud. Go home. All those "black studies" programs that taught kids to hate whitey? You must now thank Whitey. And I want that on the final.

Congressional Black Caucus? Irrelevant. Maxine Waters? Shut up. ACORN? Outlawed. Black Panthers? Go home and pet your kitty. Black separatists? Find another nation that offers better dreams. Go ahead. I'm waiting.

Gangsta rappers? Start praising America. Begin with the Pledge of Allegiance. And please, no more ebonics. Speak English, and who knows where you might end up? Oh, yeah, pull up your pants. Your underwear is showing. You look stupid.

Black Fraternities? Seek diversity. Race Card? It’s now the joker. Miss Black America? Get in line with all the other lovely ladies. Reparations? Paid.

To those Eurosnots who forged entire careers hating America? I'm still waiting for the first black French President.

And let me offer an equal opportunity whupping. I've always despised lazy white people. Now, I can talk smack about lazy black people. You're poor because you quit school, did drugs, had three kids with three different fathers, and refuse to work. So when you plop your Colt 45-swilling, Oprah watchin' butt on the couch and complain “Da Man is keepin’ me down!!!” allow me to inform you: Da Man is now black. You have no excuses.

No more quotas. No more handouts. No more stealing my money because someone's great-great-great-great grandparents suffered actual pain and misery at the hands of people I have no relation to, and personally revile.

It's time to toss that massive, obsolete race-hustle machine upon the heap of the other stupid 60s ideas. Drag it over there, by wife swapping, next to dope-smoking. Plenty of room right between free love and cop-killing. Careful, don't trip on streaking. There ya go, don't be gentle. Just dump it. Wash your hands. It's filthy.

In fact, Obama's ascension created a gargantuan irony. How can you sell class envy and American unfairness when you and your black wife went to Ivy League schools, got high-paying jobs, became millionaires, bought a mansion, and got elected President? How unfair is that??? Now, Like a delicious O'Henry tale, Obama's spread-the-wealth campaign rendered itself moot by it's own victory! America is officially a meritocracy. Obama's election has validated American conservatism!

So, listen carefully … “Wham!!!”

That's the sound of my foot kicking the door shut on the era of white guilt. The rites have been muttered, the carcass lowered, dirt shoveled, and tombstone erected. White guilt is dead and buried.

However, despite my glee, there's apparently one small, rabid bastion of American racism remaining. Black Americans voted 96% for Barack Obama. Hmmm. In a color-blind world, shouldn't that be 50-50? Tonight, every black person should ask forgiveness for their apparent racism and prejudice towards white people. Maybe it's time to start spreading that guilt around.

5 Opinion(s):

Exzanian said...

Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Ja cute, it identifies the problem but still doesn't solve it. We know the coons are racist. That's not going to change. They are going to keep killing YT, even if you get them to admit that they're racist. Eventually when they outnumber YT they are going to displace him completely. (This is for the benefit of the Americans. We SAns anready know this). The Americans have to take this to its logical conclusion: create an area of their own and exclude the coons from it. In the long term there is no other solution. Sorry chaps, if you think it through you will see that this is the only way. Apartheid. For which South Africa was villified. And which has been declared a crime against humanity by the diabolical forces now in place. But which is in fact the only peaceful solution. And Will come around like a boomerang to USA, UK and AUS. Enjoy it guys. I can already hear the words echoing in 10 (20?) (30?) years time - "The South Africans were right. There is no other way than apartheid. We hereby eat humble pie".

Doberman said...

"The South Africans were right. There is no other way than apartheid. We hereby eat humble pie".
So true. Too late for us and destined to be repeated by the rest of the West. Strange that liberals /multiculturalists don't mind other races remaining mono-cultural, places like China or Indonesia or Saudi Arabia. Oh wait, there's no such thing as "human rights" in those countries. Such brave heroes the Left.

FishEagle said...

"Such brave heroes the Left." Tell me about it.

Viking said...

Brilliant!

remember, though. In America 50% of black babies are aborted - 50%!
That should see off the population issues that South Africa had to face....