Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Hawk(s), the power of one

By Michael Trapido

The Hawks. South Africa’s latest cop show
New Anti-Crime Unit firmly under ANC Control

He prowls the empty streets at night — waiting — in fast cars and on foot, he are the men of Hawk … or at least until they give him some little friends to play with.

Don’t let me catch any of you lot sniggering.

Do you think it’s easy watching the phones, making tea and having to answer ridiculous questions from idiots in the media who want to know how you simultaneously arrested two men who were allegedly about to rob a jewellery store in Durban, arrested two senior police officers from Kuils River, led an investigation into corruption at Home A
ffairs refugee offices in Nyanga, which led to the arrest of a senior official, and still got back to the office in time for tea and crumpet?

And if that wasn’t bad enough they want to know how you did it when you, Anwa Dramat, are at this point in time, the only party that is actually registered with the “Directorate of Priority Crime Investigation” aka the Hawks.


Anyhow, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth at the newly formed “Police media liaison, public relations and dry cleaners” they came up with an ingenious explanation.

They confirmed that while Dramat is the only currently listed member they include in their statistics all of those persona who are currently being interviewed by the Hawks.

You’ve all heard of Dramatis persona surely?

Well this are them.

And seeing as though nobody wants to look for problems with the Hawks, are you going to argue when they tell you that the constable in Newlands — who bust 2 outies with a gram of cocaine — is being interviewed right now and accordingly the arrest forms part of their statistics.

Of course not.

We’ve had the world’s first Cause Selebi now welcome the Dramatis persona of the Hawks.
Praise them ; Praise them
Praise them ; Praise them
Praise them for their Hawkishness.


2 Opinion(s):

Anonymous said...

Hey, is Trapido reading our blog or just a Squad Car coincidence?

FishEagle said...

VI, Micheal Trapido is a wanker. I hope he sees that.