Stupid Is, As Stupid Does

Consider this. When you emigrate it takes time to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. Stupid is disguised, it is sometimes articulate, or, masquerades as "rules". And you don't have the obvious benefit of racial profiling. I was recently lamenting how thick many of my Canadian countrymen are, when I came across this.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter..

She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used Sears repair since.

Happened in Ottawa

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.

From Collingwood , Ontario.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Winnipeg , Manitoba.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Toronto , Ontario.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a government employee in Montreal , P.Q.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from thepassenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side .'

This was at the Ford dealership in Guelph , Ontario.

STAY ALERT!

Update:

A few anecdotes of my own I thought may personalise it a bit.

I went through a coffee drive through once and asked for one white coffee. After a heated few exchanges I was told "There is no such thing as white coffee. There is black coffee and there is brown coffee."

I ordered a book from Amazon, which they will deliver anywhere. I went to collect from the Post Office and was told I had to present two pieces of indentification, one a photo piece of ID and the other a postal piece with my address on it. I remarked that I couldn't meet the latter as I didn't stay at the premises, and that it was not an Amazon requirement. The clerk could not understand the idiocy of their claim, so I simply printed a bill from an online account and "doctored" the address. Suddenly everything was okay.

Canadian Immigration once rejected some of my paperwork because I had used the wrong application form. The correct application form was identical, except it had a different heading.

Canadian Immigration then returned my above paperwork because my partner needed to send a notarised letter "verifying her whereabouts", even though both of our residential addresses were identical in the application. It seemed that wasn't enough to prove that we lived together.

I once opened a bank account with Scotia Bank (1999) and insisted that I be able to internet bank as I resided in South Africa. I was told, with a straight face, that South Africa doesn't have the internet.

I was driving late at night with a Canadian, and I remarked that it was difficult to gauge when to overtake as the approaching vehicles travel so much slower. He then proceeded to explain that a solid line means no overtaking, but a dotted line means it's okay.