Dear South Africa

Dear SA

We've had some good times; really, we have. Unfortunately, we've grown apart these few years and I need some time away to figure some stuff out. Its just gotten weird lately. I know I said I loved you and that we'd be together forever, but we barely knew each other. You changed too much! How can you hold me to that promise?

You told me you would be different. That I wouldn't have to deal with drama any more. That it would all work out. I wanted to believe you! I really did. But there was always something else. You always had excuses “Apartheid this and apartheid that” You never ever took responsibility for your own actions! Yet I was the one feeling guilty all the time!

At first around ’94 or so, I thought we could be together forever, and it seemed good for a while, but then you went and got all googly-eyed for R60 billion or so worth of planes and subs. Oh, I knew you were not shy, but R60 billion was way over the top! And don’t forget Sarafina! Come on, what were you thinking? And then there was that stupid business to do with beetroot and garlic. Oh the embarrassment! I should have seen that coming!

But we pressed on, who wouldn't? But then you unashamedly took old mad Bob's side in front of the whole godamn world, even though it caused the loss of the last shred of respect we had. Yeah that was a toughie, in hindsight. But how can I trust you with important decisions if you keep leaving me high and dry like that?

You got the rugby thing right, I’ll grant you that but you just couldn't shake off that greed fetish. The BMW’s, the mansions, the flat screens. While the children starved!

And then you got good again baby, with that rugby thing. For a while there, you looked good. You promised it was all okay and I chalked up the poor decisions to you being young. I wanted this to work, but you've gone off the deep end. Just what the hell were you doing last year? 60 dead in a gore fest, the home fires extinguished! The cops are robbers and the robbers are cops! Are you heartless, schizophrenic or what?

Plus, you neglect my own long term mental health, while trying to get me to pay attention to your BEE. I'm not a BEE man, baby. I hate to tell you like this, but your BEE has gotten flabby lately. It looked good at first, but you tried to pack on some extra teams, and its just gone wrong. I liked your BEE when it was nice and small. You got greedy and you took it all. Well look what happened? Are you happy now?

And you know what hurts the most of all? The way you try and blame ME for everything! Like this has gone all pear shaped because its my fault. I’m the one that must change you say. That hurts. No, don't tell me to shush up! Yes I am pissed off right now, and I will be for a very long time!

I have something to confess. I've been talking to Liz up North lately. Now I know what you're going to say, “But all your friends have been with that cold slut!" "She'll just use you and spit you out like all the others" Maybe so, but its not just a cheap whoring with her, its far deeper. Besides, she is a lot older than me, and so aloof! Hard as flint sometimes, but so high! And she has welcomed me into her home, just as I am. The light was on the other night as I drove past Bucks, and I swear, I saw her waving. I never saw her face, but I could see that glimmer of a smile in my mind. She was waving at me, I swear!

That makes me feel good. To be honest, I just can't get that feeling with you anymore. We don't have enough in common, don't you get it? Plus you are currently going at 13 to 1.

Its just not going to work out, so I guess its goodbye.

Its me, not you. No hard feelings.