Dear Mr Police Officer

Thank you for posting that reminder on my windscreen the other day. If you had not done that, I would not have known that I was doing something illegal. I must admit though, since you had already fined me £30 for parking illegally and since it was only 11 am, I left the car just where it was for the rest of the day, so I could get my shopping done at my leisure. My wife kind of freaks out about getting "value for money" so I thought you wouldn't mind.

So thanks again, I really appreciate that request for money, and be assured that my wife was really pleased that I only left the shops at 01H30 when I was eventually evicted by the police for drunk and disorderly!

Also, I am eternally grateful that you never noticed the two bald tyres on the front of the car, because that might have prompted you to look a bit closer, and no doubt you would then have noticed the fake registration plates! One thing would have led to another and I am sure your dogs would have easily located that one ounce bag of heroin stashed in my boot!

You're such a great guy, thanks a million!

The only little problem I have, is that while I was shopping (and getting the best value for my £30, Thank You again!) it rained a bit. Quite heavily in fact. So the notice that you had so thoughtfully tucked into place under my windscreen wiper blade (I read it straightaway but left it on the windscreen just so other friendly police officers who happened to come past would see that I had already paid for my parking space) was a little bit washed out. Completely. So I am sending you this request to please, please visit me with another copy of that notice.

I am attaching below a photo of my address and wish to assure you that I am eagerly awaiting your request for payment.

Thank you so much!