Words to Live By

It is because of the insanity disguised as rational thought that these words-to-live-by have been assembled; thoughts or phrases that capture the essence of life today in liberal utopias around the world. Each captures an undeniable truth about the world today and can serve as a quick, handy guide for those wishing to navigate the waters of liberal lunacy that has transformed social, economic and political dialogue and interaction. If you have more, feel free to add to the list.

1. People who publicly and repeatedly profess their love for humanity are usually the most self-centred, self-absorbed humans on the planet.

2. If "world consensus" is the source of human morality, as many Moral Relativists believe, then the United Nations is the fountain-head of all that is good and decent in the world.

3. Animals do not have "rights", souls, or feelings the way people do, despite what some people earnestly believe. Rather, what they do have is instinct and basic animal intelligence, as well as an owner with an overactive imagination.

4. When beautiful people think they're ugly, we call this low self-esteem. When ugly people think they're beautiful, we call them drunk, deluded, or very rich.

5. Asking the humourless to recognize humour is like asking the turgid to think. It can be done, but always painfully.

6. You can compromise with your spouse. Sometimes, you can compromise with your neighbour. And occasionally, you can compromise with your boss (if you still have the negatives from last year's Christmas party). But you can't compromise with evil.

7. Wishing for a better world won't make it happen. But a couple of tons of bunker-busting bombs dropped on the right target will.

8. You can lead a person to knowledge, but you can't make them think.

9. Consistency is the hobgoblin of liberal minds. In fact, the only consistent thing about liberals is their inconsistency.

10. The more highly educated a person is, the more likely he is to say something incredibly stupid.

11. It's a good thing to forgive your enemies; but wait until they ask for it. Until then, keep shooting.

12. Killing civilians during war, and targeting them specifically, is not the same thing.

13. Believing in God, and following a religion, is not the same thing.

14. Nothing quite focuses the mind like the government offering to help you.

15. Terrorists fervently believe they are doing the right thing, and/or their behaviour should somehow be excused. So do psychopaths and criminals.

16. Irony is lost on the ironic. More irony is lost on the truly moronic.

17. Why is a person who's half black and half white always identified as "black," if race doesn't matter to the people making these judgments?

18. The difference between believing that the government is there to help you, and believing that Santa Clause will bring you presents, is that Santa doesn't have the power to tax your income.

19. If you can't pronounce it, don't eat it. Or vote for it.

20. Spending your way out of debt is like lying your way into the truth.

21. Ideas are stupid, not people. But truly stupid people will fail to see the distinction.

22. Gross stupidity is a designation that must be earned by a person, not simply assigned out of frustration.

23. Something can still be stupid, no matter how honestly you believe it.

24. In a debate, the people you speak directly to will never change their minds, no matter what you say. Your real focus is the people listening to the conversation who have nothing invested in either position, and will decide which of you makes the better case.

25. I can urge others not to do something wrong, even if I haven't led a perfect life. Hypocrisy does not obviate morality, since whether I act morally or not doesn't excuse your bad behaviour.

26. To a conservative, "rich" is that condition which highly motivated people work hard to attain. To a liberal, "rich" is someone who makes more money than you do, and that isn't fair.

27. There is no problem in the Middle East that cannot be solved with a twenty-megaton thermonuclear explosion, as long as it's properly focused.

28. Emoting is not the same thing as thinking.

29. Believing something strongly is not the same thing as analysing it, just as endlessly repeating this belief is not an answer to any questions raised about that belief.

30. I can still defend your right to free speech while encouraging everyone to ignore the insanity of what you're saying. (Are you reading this Greg?)

31. It's okay to mock, insult and/or denigrate Christians and the Christian faith, but not Muslims and their faith, because unlike the "Religion of Peace," Christians don't kill you if you eat pork, let women drive or vote, or draw an irreverent cartoon about their religion.

32. Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who do neither hold elective office — and consistently lecture us all on what we need to do.

And finally, no list would be complete without this singular notion: 33. The fundamental dividing point in life is not whether someone is young or old, male or female, black or white, or even liberal or conservative. Rather, as we form judgements about other people with whom we have contact, it involves an answer to a simple question. "Is that person an asshole?"