This is our future hip-hopping, gun totting, boogy wooging, rumbling fumbling, ass licking, womanising, shower drenching, leopard wearing , aids preventing, racketeering, money laundering, panga weilding, nike dancing, foot stomping, justice raping, nation building, multi-marrying, Shabir shakin, Zapiro hating, court dodging, Scorpion slating, baby making machine, el presidente. I present to you the man who knows no limits, sex symbol of post apart hate and your future president. the Zuma’s next door. This man is full of love.
· Number one Sizakele Khumalo - whom he met in 1959. She lives at his rural R1,5-million home at Nkandla in northern KwaZulu- Natal and they have no children. (she must be a real ugly bitch!)
· Number two - Ex-wife Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma - Foreign Affairs Minister - with whom he had 4 children - Msholozi, 24, Gugu, 22, Thuli, 21 and Thuthi, 19. They divorced in June 1998 due to "irreconcilable differences."
· Number three - Late wife Kate Zuma - with whom he had 5 children - Saady, 29, twins Duduzile and Duduzane both 25, Phumzile, 20 and Vusi. She committed suicide on December 8, 2000 after apparent strained relations with Zuma. (Do you f*cking blame her)
· Still on honeymoon Nompumelelo Mantuli Zuma - whom he married in January . She has 2 children Thandiswe, 7 and 8 month old Sinquobile. (Shootin blanks for a while there boss!)
· Waiting in the wings Thobeka Stacey Mabhija - with whom he has two children, including a 5 month old baby (Maybe next year)
· Mrs Jacob Zuma number six? Bongi Ngema - from Umlazi, has a 7 month old son
· Old flame Minah Shongwe - who is Zuma's old flame. Shongwe, the sister of Judge Jeremiah Shongwe has a 30 year old son, Edward with Zuma.
· Left at the altar Zuma also paid half lobolo for Swazi Princess Sebentile Dlamini, 38, the granddaughter of King Sobhuza III, in 2002 but nothing has come out of it.
4 Marriages, 1 ½ Lobola, 3 partners and 15 Children...????? Check the age differences between the children from different mothers – an 8 month old baby, a 7month old baby and a 5 month old baby – very busy 2007!
He adds a whole new edge to "Who's your daddy?"
And we worry about his buddy, poor old Steve Hofmeyr ???