Malema to dress up as himself for Halloween

ANC Youth League commissar Julius Malema says he will dress up as himself for Halloween this year, ending speculation that he was going to dress up as a pair of lips stuck to Jacob Zuma's buttocks.

According to Malema he is also going to pioneer a new Halloween tradition called Trick or Treat or Kill in which people who don't give sweets are eliminated.

Speaking to journalist at the ANCYL Huggies Playpen headquarters this morning, Youth League spokesman Mengistu Tshabalala said that the League had "always" celebrated Halloween.

"Certain reactionaries still try to insist that Halloween is an American holiday that has been grafted onto South Africa," said Tshabalala.

"That is patently racist and false. Halloween has been celebrated here since at least 2001, which is much further back than any human being can remember. "Or at least any human being who believed our election promises and voted for us."

He added that Halloween was "as truly South African as The Bold and the Beautiful, KFC drive-throughs and R&B music videos, aait?" Asked if it was true that Julius Malema was going to Trick or Treat disguised as a pair of lips fixed to Jacob Zuma's bottom, Tshabalala said that while the ANCYL leader did admire Mr Zuma's bottom and had considered the disguise, he had decided to dress up as himself instead.

"Halloween is all about frightening people," said Tshabalala, adding that research had shown that Malema was terrifying to most whites, many Sesothos, all Xhosas, and most of his extended family. He said that Malema was also planning to introduce a new holiday tradition.

"He is calling it Trick or Treat or Kill," said Tshabalala.

"Basically he rings your doorbell, shouts 'Trick or Treat!' and if you don't give him sweeties you will be eliminated." He said Malema would "probably not shout out the 'Or Kill' option" as it might dissuade people from opening their doors.

Asked if this meant that families who failed to provide sweets would actually be killed, Tshabalala demanded that the media stop putting words in the mouth of the ANCYL. "I didn't say that. Eliminate is the not the same as kill. Although it could be, and sometimes is. "In this instance we are saying we will eliminate, as in liquidate, without the aspect of killing, although that stays on the table, because the ANCYL is open-minded and never takes anything off the table, including our feet and elbows."

He closed the press conference by informing the media that Malema is particularly fond of Caramello Bears.

"Use it or don't use it," he said. "The ANCYL is not saying that stocking up on Caramello Bears might save your life.

"But we will also not deny it."

Happy Halloween