Gone fishin'

Luke Watson declaring himself unavailable for Springbok selection is a bit like me withdrawing from the race to lead the ANC Women’s League – or the kids club, for that matter.

On current playing form the butt-end of many a bar-joke should be so lucky to make the Pofadder Development XV, let alone any respectable rugby side.

With great bravado then the young upstart blamed an “ongoing conspiracy to discredit him” as one of the main reasons he felt it appropriate to “do the right thing” in protest to his victimization.

What a knob.

Yes, I said it – it’s a “k” word but, in my defense, the “k” is silent. I think the big “L” needs to really start taking a good look in the mirror at the source of his demise. ‘Tis time to take it like a man my brother… sucks, I know, but the reality of the fact is that there is nothing worse in this world than being labelled an empty can.

‘Nuff said.

Rattling along our political landscape I am delighted to read reports of Mosiuoa Lekota’s supporter meetings being interrupted by the custodians of democracy and all things sacred. Yeah, it’s refreshing to know that, with only months left before our next general election, the ruling party’s supporters can still make time for intimidation, violence and general hooliganism.

I was beginning to think that some sense of respect for each other’s rights to vote for whomever we want was gaining a foothold in South Africa.

Honestly – what fun would electioneering be without traditional weapons, war chants and name throwing? How boring the notion of people waiting in line to make their mark in peace? How utterly bland the thought of making a celebration of the day, cracking jokes in the queue, playful banter amongst voters – a carnival atmosphere?

Nope. What makes democracy such an interesting beast here under the Rainbow is our stunning ability to ignore the values, principals and guidance afforded to us by our constitution. Democracy – SA style – is to shirk responsibility for our actions and search underneath any and every rock for a scapegoat to take the blame.

If someone’s drives a taxi through “our route” we grab a brace of AK47’s and send out a message. The way to combat a new competitor is not through improving your customer service, pricing structure or doing something that adds value to your business, no – burning that shop to the floor and putting a “spell” on its owner is the way to go. Not good enough to make the national team on own steam? Why not declare yourself unavailable – that way nobody can say you were dropped.

Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen today I’d like to recuse myself from any and all political comment going forward. I will be on the banks of the Jukskei, fishing for Southern Right Blue Whales if anyone is looking for me…

My friend Julius says the river is full of ‘em.