Wednesday, September 24, 2008

2010 World Cup mascot is not rotting STD-ravaged lion

The local organizing committee of the 2010 World Cup has defended the tournament's new mascot, saying that it is not a moth-eaten and gangrenous lion covered in lesions causes by a sexually transmitted disease, but rather a leopard with green hair.

However it conceded that the mascot had been found in the props cupboard at the SABC, and dated from 1984.

Speaking to the media this morning from the newly renamed Comrade Jacob Zuma Long May He Shower Us With Blessings Conference Centre in Durban,
LOC spokesman Laduma Vilakazi said that South Africans would learn to love the mascot, Zakumi.

"Or at least not hate it," he added, saying that that South Africans had shown that "they will eventually get used to anything".

He said that Zakumi had tested well on young audiences when he first appeared on national television, in a walk-on roll in Pumpkin Patch in 1985 when he tried to have sex with Woofles in an episode entitled Woofles's Body Is Nobody's Body But Woofles's.

He said criticism that Zakumi looked embarrassingly out of date were "unfair and hurtful to many people, especially the designer and the designer's mother".

"We know that Zakumi isn't exactly a cutting-edge mascot," said Vilakazi.

"We know that modern mascots are stylized, full of moulded features and articulated limbs, and not just someone zipped up inside a big nylon animal with a bobble-head."

But, he said, the LOC had felt it was important to have a mascot from the mid-1980s to "remind everyone that Africa is twenty years behind the rest of the world, and that they owe us big-time".

"Obviously we want fans to enjoy the football, but we also want them to understand that their political and economic system raped our continent," he said.

"We want them to have fun in South Africa while still feeling overwhelming shame for their role in funding Apartheid."

He said that Zakumi was therefore "all about guilt, shame and self-loathing, but in a very forward-thinking and optimistic way".

He also confirmed that the mascot's name had had to be changed after an "unpleasant scene that required an exorcist to intervene".

"As we explained to the media at the launch, the 'ZA' in Zakumi represents ZA or South Africa, and the 'kumi' means 'ten' in many African languages.

"Originally we were just going to go for 'SA' and 'Ten', or Saten, but it didn't work out."

He said a test run at a Catholic primary school in Durban had "ended badly" after 500 children began chanting, "I love Saten! I love Saten!"

Meanwhile football pundits have welcomed the mascot, saying it perfectly represents the national team since leopards spend most of their time having their trophies stolen by stronger predators or sleeping in trees.

2 Opinion(s):

Anonymous said...

How absolutely pathetic - they want to shame the rest of the world for the condition they are in!!!
Their mascot is really stupid - whats with the yellow body with green hair??


Hell - I have already ask my gardener to whip me hard for about 30 minutes. Had a good look at this new mascot and was overcome by an uncontrollable feeling of super size , 100 percent improved, Proudly South African white guilt. Will not look at this thing again just in case - it's so powerfull - I might even slit my wrists !